Texture is part of the story

2 minute read

This year I shared about how this painting came about in my IGTV. I wanted to delve a little deeper into my reflections on the process and what I took from it.

I created a painting about 8 months ago and to be honest, wasn’t that excited about it. That happens - and when it does, one of two things occur-

1) It sits in my peripheral vision for a little while in case an idea flows. But if the inspiration doesn’t come-

2) It goes to the A R T G R A V E Y A R D. So dramatic!

I’m ok with the art graveyard because I’ve discovered that it doesn’t necessarily mean certain death.

A few months ago, I felt the nudge to pick it back up and see if there was any life in it, a new story I could build on it.

Initially, I wanted to erase the texture completely, so I took the sander block out. But when I tried to sand the texture away, it just would’t go. It refused to budge.

Sometimes I think we want to completely erase our past- and please hear me- it’s important not to dwell and be stuck or to let the past hold you back. Being a prisoner of your past is a horrible type of mental torture.

But to acknowledge it, to learn from it, to change, to heal from it…. that’s infinitely valuable.

Since the texture just didn’t want to go away, I had to keep it as part of the work. As I began to paint swaths of colour over the textured canvas, the feelings of “yes, it’s coming back to life again” came flooding in.

A new story, a new image, was built on the former. It wasn’t my first plan, but it actually helped bring a new dimension, richness and depth to the piece.

Sometimes we can think that our past will completely disqualify us from future success or happiness. That we are not worthy of something beautiful coming out of pain, whether inflicted on us, or caused by us. It can seem like the way things turned out…. the future of a particular hope, dream or idea might as well be in the graveyard.

But as I let myself settle into the new version of the painting, I felt more comfortable with the texture being there. It was part of the story, but not the focus.

Something I read a little while back resonates with me:

“Our pain and failure, the things we try to hide because they create shame are what give us texture. And without texture, there is nothing for others to connect to.” - Paul Scanlon

Perfection is not the goal. It’s not like we can achieve it anyway! Getting it right the first time is pretty rare. Growth, authenticity, connection is a healthier goal and definitely a more sustainable goal.

The new story we create may look different to the first one….

but your experience,

your surrender,

and your willingness

to walk through the messy parts with courage, makes a way for depth and beauty that is unique.

And what is revealed is resilience and strength that was in you all along.

Peace & Love,

Elissa

I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Leave a comment below or DM me at @graceworthcourage.