The myth of gaining confidence

Don’t wait to be confident first.

Photography: Chris Walter Photography

I recently had some new photos taken. As I was scrolling through, this photo caught my attention. The look was entirely unplanned, but it struck me that I had a rising sense of confidence and settledness in me that was coming through in the photo.

I think there are perceptions or myths around people that seem to have confidence. Let me break it down for you from my perspective and experience.

If you told me 2 years ago:

1) I could even call myself an artist 

2) I’d have enough work to put into a solo exhibition, or have the confidence to show my work publicly (not just on social media)

3) I’d collaborate with other artists 

I would have probably responded with “Not possible” Or “I need more experience than 2 years” Or “My work isn’t good enough”, or more to the point, “I’m not good enough”. 

I used to think that I needed confidence before I could step out into what was in my heart to do. That I needed an elusive ‘feeling’ of confidence in order for me to do the things that I felt were nudging for my attention.

But in retrospect, as I develop confidence to try challenging pursuits with not only things I have lots of experience in (singing & teaching) and not so much (art) I think the key is….. Action first.

Don’t wait to be confident first. Do something first. Do it badly. Do it scared. Do it for yourself, not for others. And do it many times.

Kind hearted action is the secret sauce to feeling confidence.

Here are a list of things that I’ve done that have facilitated action before confidence:

•Listen to the prompts in your heart that this is a good thing to try. (Be attentive)

• Do a 100 day project to stretch your creative muscles. (Consistency is a great way to grow)

• Learn from multiple experts online and in-person through courses, books and blogs. (Take away a one concept per course to bring into your practice)

• Take a break from painting when you need or want to. (Listen to your mind and body)

• Have a ‘childlikeness’ when in your creative flow. (Enjoy the ride!)

• Sit with the emotion of disappointment if what you create is not what you expected. Be kind to yourself and accept it as the path to where you want to be. (Accept the difficult emotions that come with doing something unknown)

• Back yourself instead of playing things down or dismissing things as amateur or irrelevant (Know your worth)

• Say yes to things that you don’t know if you’re ready for, but just taking the plunge anyway (Do it scared!)

Oh, If I could only paint a picture of complete creative bliss 100% of the time! But then again, would I want that to be the case? How boring. Life is a series of mountains and valleys and the character we develop from moving through them.

Each growth step of my journey has brought on a form of a ‘dark night of the soul’, lasting for hours, days or even weeks depending on the circumstance. Each decision has been a death to the striving or reaching for the past.

My journey won’t look like yours, everyone has a history and set of circumstances that influence their path. That’s what makes your creations unique and interesting.

So if it’s in your heart, pursue it. Action first, the confidence will come.

Hope my insights resonate or have been helpful for you.

Peace & Love,

Elissa x

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