The hardest thing I’ve done.

I did a hike last weekend- the most physically and mentally difficult thing I’ve done (apart from giving birth!)

The Red Track Hike at Bungonia National Park, NSW was the last part of ‘Unhindered’ Retreat with Jaemin Frazer (Insecurity Project).

It’s a grade 5 track- for those who aren’t familiar with hike grades, it’s the highest and most difficult grade of hike. There have been 18 rescues in the last year alone. A little intimidating!

I must admit, I was nervous about the hike. I nearly backed out of the retreat purely because of it. But once I was there, there was no turning back.

The hike was a very steep descent into the gorge with unstable ground. Once we got to the bottom of the gorge I thought there would be some rest. Turns out, no.

We had to climb km’s of boulders to get to the other side. And to top it off, a steep hike all the way back up - starting with a muddy and slippery rainforest, then a shale section (see what that looks like here) and finally grassed lands to the carpark. I’m trying not to think too much about how steep it all was!

Over the 6 hour hike, I cried three times, wanted to throw up and felt lightheaded after the steep climbs.

It was such an interesting head space to be in when I was pushed to my physical and emotional limit. It’s a bit hard to describe, but it was a space where everything non essential needed to be blocked out. The mental chatter shouting “Why am I doing this?” had to be silenced and all my energy had to focus on the very next step.

A few months back, I wrote a song and the lyrics were:

“One step in front of another

What’s on the other side?

One breath, and then just another

I open up my eyes.

What if I lose my way?

What if it leads to nowhere

The wild path calls out my name

But what if I fall, is it over?

I’m on the brink of myself.”

One step, one breath, on the brink of myself - Oh how those words meant so much more to me in that moment! I recited them back as I did the last stretch of the hike.

As an artist, I am beginning to see how everything is connected.

The group I went with were so open and so encouraging. We had only met the day before, but the hike broke open a new dynamic of team work, bonding and a shared experience with a few funny moments that I’m sure we won’t forget. I’m so honoured to have met them.

My takeaway from this:

I CAN DO HARD THINGS.

This hike took all I had to push through and get to the end. But I’m glad I did.

It’s not in my dreams to become a hiker, but it is in my dreams to discover what is in me to serve the world. It will require a bit of grit and feeling uncomfortable at times.

I realised that I’m capable of far more than I imagined. Doing something that is on the edge of your capacity is a truly surreal experience. I now can take this experience into what I do as a business owner….

“If I can do a grade 5 hike and survive, I can do ______!’

I think we can sometimes short change our capacity and resilience to go through difficult experiences. You can do far more than you think you can. You’d be amazed how much capacity and grit you have. Keep going.

Peace & Love,

Elissa